Bonnie Carolan

When I turned thirty-five I was having very irregular periods. I was feeling that I wanted another child-well actually I really wanted a sister for Annie. I have three sisters and I wanted Annie to have that special relationship in her life. Anyway, the doctor felt I wasn't ovulating-so I spoke to my sister/the midwife and she suggested I start taking dong quai this Chinese herb. I did and within three months I got pregnant. Now, ten years older than in my first pregnancy I still felt strong but more
tired and my age was a factor. I had a slightly different approach to this pregnancy-maybe because I had two children already-maybe because I was older. My first two pregnancies I read everything childbirth related-now I found myself reading more spiritual/self discovery material. John and I both talked a lot about how we wanted this birth to take place-we were now living on the east coast. My sister Lorraine, the midwife, was on the west coast. We sought out a midwife but our insurance was not supportive of homebirths and midwives. John was concerned partially because of my age and my full-time work schedule. So, we found a female doctor and a hospital environment that we were comfortable with.
Our next part was figuring out who we wanted to be in the room with us. We knew we wanted our other two children to be there and then we decided that we wanted our mothers to be there also. It was a wonderful time in our lives-for me it was a time I grew very close to my mother. I had not lived near my mother during my other two pregnancies. I shared so much of this time with my mother. She was 75 and I was her baby and it created a very strong bond between us. Everything was going so smoothly until the middle of my eighth month. My mom got sick- I brought her to the doctor and thirteen days later we buried her. It was a devasting time. The strength of the human spirit and the strength of the life growing inside of me got me through that last month. December 29,1990 at about 12:15am my water broke. Unlike ten years before I did not run to the hospital. I called my doctor- she was out of town. I sort of freaked but still took my time. I showered, got the other two children ready-packed there bags and dropped them at our friends house. We got to the hospital about 3:30. Labor was slow but fairly steady. I was in a private room that looked like a hotel. I walked-took warm showers- the nurses that were in and out were caring and helpful-never intrusive. The on call doctor was like a gift. She never rushed me at one point she even sat on the bed with me and said I made labor seem so wonderful-so natural. Giving birth should be a natural and positive experience. Maggie arrived at 3:38 in the afternoon and her grandmother was there and although she had given birth to three childre of her own she was overcome with such emotion. She was never awake for her births. I know how proud she felt to be there and to witness the miracle of the birth of her youngest grandchild.